Sweet & Spicy Eggplant Jerky

I'm about as fond of eggplant as I am of kale, so when I saw various recipes for eggplant bacon, I knew I had to try something along those lines. But I also knew I had to change them. What I was seeing was not to my liking. I like bacon as bacon.

But maybe I could make a similar jerky-type.

Sweet & spicy with a crunch that turns into a chew. This would be an acceptable substitute for me if I wasn't going to fry bacon anyway. A great snack, and easy too adjust. Best part?

I finally found a way I'll eat eggplant.

11-12 oz. eggplant (the skinny kind)
2 Tbsp. Bragg's Apple Cider Vinegar
3 Tbsp. water
2 Tbsp. low sodium soy
2 Tbsp. honey or maple
1 Tbsp. olive oil
1 tsp. molasses
1/2 Tbsp. red pepper flakes
A pinch of salt

Combine all of the marinade ingredients in a ziplock baggie and mush together.
Cut the stem off of the eggplant, and halve it.
Slice each half of the eggplant into bacon sized strips. I used a mandolin in between 1/8 and 1/6 inch. Toss the pieces that are just skin.
Toss eggplant into marinade and flip around until everything is coated well. Do this every 5 minutes for about 30 minutes. Keep out on counter.
I have a Presto dehydrator, which is the round, stackable kind. I put one of my fruit roll inserts on the bottom tray to catch any sogginess.
Once the eggplant is nice, slimy, flimsy, and darkened-up lay out on trays and dehydrate. Save liquid marinade in bowl and pop it into the fridge.
When nearly done, baste with remaining liquid on one sides, and then finish off until dried.

Try flavored olive oils and other herbs and spices. I used clover honey, ghost pepper infused olive oil, and a pinch of hickory salt.

Keep refrigerated. They're shelf stable enough to pack in a lunch, but not in a pantry.

Makes about 30 pieces at around 5-15 calories a piece, depending on your products.

Lies & Deceit Pie

Sometimes, the best way to mess with people, is to simply omit the ingredients and let them assume I guess. We waited until dad ate the "apple" pie before telling him it was, in fact, summer squash.

It's really good. Like, a perfect way to use up all of that dang zucchini!

I recommend assembling in the order given.

Filling
20 oz. summer squash/zucchini
1/4 tsp. salt
1/4 cup Lakanto monk-fruit sweetener
1/4 cup sugar
1-2 Tbsp cornstarch
Cinnamon, Clove, and Ginger to taste
Peel your squash, and cut off the stem and but. Slice to the thickness you generally use in an apple pie. Not too thick, not to thin.Toss in a bowl with salt, sweetener, sugar, and spices. I recommend starting with 1 tsp. each of the spice, and finding your perfect. Or use what you would for your normal apple pie.Scrape everything into a medium saucepan with 2 Tbsp. water. Cook until enough liquid has formed to fill a cereal bowl.Drain liquid into bowl, and add cornstarch, whisking smooth.Slowly add bac…

Stale Bread Monkey Bread

I hate food waste. I try really hard not to do it. Just ask my mother-when she cuts romaine I annoy her mercilessly for wasting the ends rather than saving them for soup.

So I was unhappy to find the rolls I bought on Saturday for the kielbasa dinner I had planned tonight were absolutely rock hard this morning. Immediately I started looking for ways to use up stale bread that weren't bread crumbs or french toast.

And then I saw a monkey bread recipe using fresh bread, rather than biscuits. So, I figured, I could adapt it to this.

1 bag of stale rolls (about a gallon bag and a half), diced large
2 eggs, beaten well
1 cup sugar
1 Tbsp +/- cinnamon
1/2 cup chopped pecans
1 stick of butter, melted
3/4 cup brown sugar, packed
Preheat oven to 350F.Thoroughly grease whatever you're using to bake. This doesn't stick together as well as the fresh made stuff (make sense if you think about it-no gooey bread). I used the traditional bunt, but next time I'll use a plain old casser…

Simple Winter Vegetable Kielbasa Skillet

Winter is almost officially here, but it's been snowy and gross for a month in the Southern Tier. My CSA farm share is over, and I've started trying to clear out the fridge and prep things before they go off for storage.

It's also that time of year where I'm grading until I die, and I'm cold, cranky, and hungry. So I thought I'd toss together a simple skillet to pick away at all day. I used up the last of my pretty purple faux kraut I made with red cabbage. I'm going to have to do that again!

6 oz. turnips, diced small
6 oz. daikon radish (or red radishes, either work) diced small
2 oz. red onion, diced small
6.5 oz. Hillshire Farms Turkey Kielbasa
1-2 tsp. extra virgin olive oil
1/4 cup Faux Kraut or Sauerkraut

Combine turnips, radish, and onion in skillet with olive oil, just enough to brown with. If you want to kick up the flavor, try an infused oil. I infuse mine with ghost peppers.Once it starts to tan up, add in kielbasa.Cook until tender and kielb…

Smart Substitutes: Seltzer Cupcakes

By now, most people have found the Weight Watcher's recipe for cupcakes using a can of soda and a box of cake mix. You also know I have a hideous sweet tooth, but hate fake sweeteners-they're just tooooo sweet usually. Today was born of desperation.

You see, for the most part, I've replaced my soda drinking with flavored seltzers. Every now and then I indulge, especially on cheat days, but generally I try to avoid the sweeter pops. For the seltzers, though, I'm particularly fond of the Polar brand; it seems to be super bubbly and says it uses nothing but seltzer and natural flavors. Added bonus-it's cheap. I got the new flavor, Pomegranate Sangria, thinking I love both so together they must be awesome.

It reminds me of children's chapstick. Yuck.

But, I'm also trying to reduce waste. So I'm trapped. How do I get rid of this vile concoction?

Cupcakes. I had a box of chocolate cake mix I was saving to use up some stale Southern Tier Chokolat Oranj s…

Garlic-Dill Beet Stem Refrigerator Pickles

Beets are edible from leaf to root, but the stems are stringy like celery and have a strong flavor. I've found the best use for them is to pickle them for snacks.

The trick to a good refrigerator pickle is all in the choice of vinegar. For most, my go to is unseasoned rice vinegar. You can use any though, just be prepared to experiment. For example, white and apple cider generally need a larger amount of water.

The recipe here can be used to make any kind of fridge pickle. Just stick to the same ratio of vinegar, water, and salt.

Beet Stems
1 Tbsp. Minced Garlic
1 Tbsp. Kosher Salt
1/4 cup Tbsp. Fresh Dill
Rice Vinegar
Water
Ball Regular Mouth Pint Mason Jar
Cut your beet stems so they fit in the jar, lower than the neck.Fill the jar, but leave enough room that you can insert 2 fingers.Remove the leafy bits of dill from the stems, and toss the dill stems. Stuff the rest of the jar with dill and the garlic. Scoop the salt on top.Fill jar 1/3 way with vinegar.Fill rest of the way …

Honey Papaya Fruit Bars

I started doing this blog to keep a log of all of the recipes I created as I was dieting. Since October, I've lost 45 pounds, and I still have a ways to go. One of the hardest things about dieting in these summery months is the cold and refreshing snacks all being pretty much hi-caloric junk. So, I had to do something about that.

These bars aren't as sweet as conventional fruit bars, but they work for me. Creamy and fruity. Feel free to add more honey or sugar as you prefer. Just remember to add it before the coconut water, as both are wet ingredients.

2 cups fresh papaya, packed
2 Tbsp. really raw honey, heated a bit to make runny
1/4 a cup, give or take, coconut water (simply balanced brand is my current fave)
Throw papaya in blender. Add a splash of the coconut water, and honey. Blend until smooth, adding coconut water as needed. Not until runny-about the consistency of thick baby food.Pour into molds and freeze. I serve mine with a dash of salt-it brings out the flavo…

Savory Spinach and Sausage Salad

You must get creative when eating so many veggies every day. This is one of my more successful experiments. Salty, spicy, and green.

While I'm waiting for my own, squirrel-delayed garden to grow, and my local farm share to start (2 weeks!). I like to hit the local farmers market at Otsinengo Park and grab my greens there. Because they're fresh, and close to the source, they seem to last longer. When I can't hit the farmers market, I always turn to Wegmans. If you don't have a Wegmans, I'm sorry. I've lived in a few states now, and by far they've been the best grocer's chain. The closest thing I've found was a Dierbergs in South St. Louis (I believe Webster Groves, or near it), and it had nothing on Wegmans. For you non-Wegmans people, a Whole Foods or something similar should do. many of these kinds of chains bring in local produce. And yes, one of the reasons Wegmans is so awesome is because they not only bring in local produce, but goodies…

Drunken Blueberry Lilac Salad

I love lilacs. They're one of my favorite flowers. We never had them as kids because my mother is super allergic to them, but my new place has a tiny bush outside, and I steal the blooms for scent and prettiness as much as for food.

Yup, lilacs are edible.Lilac is a member of the olive family. But they aren't very olivy in the way we normally eat them. Instead, they have a sweet and bitter lemony taste. They're also awesome in lemon water and vodka drinks.

So, when I smelled the heady scent of first blooms on the air this morning, in the warm sunshine of an early summer in the Bing, I knew I had to make a salad. But first I needed to hit the farmer's market to see what was out that might work. Lo and behold, Shared Roots Farm was selling a baby mix and I snagged small bags of each of their greens and made my way home.

2 cups baby salad greens, fresh from the farmers market
1/4 cup blueberries
2 sprigs, not heads, of lilac blooms from my yard. Just the flower
2 pa…

Healthy Stove Top Blueberry Crumble

I love crumbles more than pie, and this quick, stove top version is perfect for when you want one without all of the calories, and you want it NOW.
filling forms

1 1/4 cup blueberry (or any berry)
1 tsp. local honey
1 dash nutmeg
1 dash salt
2 Tbsp. cinnamon granola
In your small saucepan, combine berries, honey, salt, and nutmeg. Cook, stirring and mashing a bit, until filling forms. It will be a bit soupier than pie filling, but should still be thick. About 5 minutes.Allow to cool until it no longer burns your mouth. About 5 minutes.Top with 2 Tbsp. of granola. I'm using Kind Healthy Grains Granola Clusters in Cinnamon Oat with Flax.
Calories vary by topping.

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